i love accidental penises.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she peed on how many people?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
