Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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