apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
