The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
