when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
