woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize