You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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