Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
