Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
