Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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