started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
