were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It was confusing and full of hummus
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
