yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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