Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
