Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
