Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
