Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Got a toothbrush?

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(734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae

Replies (7) Good night (2062) Bad night (1003)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm in love with you.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

huh?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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(860): I'm in love with you. (1-860): huh? (860): Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it. http://tfl.nu/in9v

Replies (14) Good night (3153) Bad night (734)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

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(215): yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer" http://tfl.nu/i0t9

Replies (33) Good night (8306) Bad night (770)
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(619): View more from California

He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.

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(619): He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy. http://tfl.nu/8ucs

Replies (14) Good night (1117) Bad night (5173)
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(916): View more from California

Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.

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(916): Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown. http://tfl.nu/0cdq

Replies (5) Good night (3430) Bad night (1208)
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(817): View more from Texas

Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.

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(817): Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question. http://tfl.nu/9lcn

Replies (4) Good night (1998) Bad night (829)
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(443): View more from Maryland

The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.

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(443): The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that. http://tfl.nu/d0ly

Replies (15) Good night (3835) Bad night (1231)
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(941): View more from Florida

Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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(941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw

Replies (4) Good night (1762) Bad night (623)
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(206): View more from Washington

You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.

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(206): You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want. http://tfl.nu/h1r5

Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (1355)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog

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(440): I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog http://tfl.nu/oyfd

Replies (6) Good night (1617) Bad night (597)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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(901): Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this...... http://tfl.nu/c0ql

Replies (6) Good night (463) Bad night (1289)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.

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(508): It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law. http://tfl.nu/9zdw

Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (470)
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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing says love like couples STD testing

(972): View more from Texas

Nothing says breakup like the results

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(214): Nothing says love like couples STD testing (972): Nothing says breakup like the results http://tfl.nu/3283

Replies (7) Good night (1491) Bad night (578)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.

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(410): Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface. http://tfl.nu/w1ur

Replies (7) Good night (2108) Bad night (415)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.

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(314): Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks. http://tfl.nu/ddm7

Replies (0) Good night (220) Bad night (488)

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