This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
