Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.

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(313): View more from Michigan

then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito

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(360): View more from Washington

He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(979): View more from Texas

if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances

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(213): View more from California

Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

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(850): View more from Florida

You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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(503): View more from Oregon

it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.

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