dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.