Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.