Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks

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  (508): ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks http://tfl.nu/ycbx
  Replies (149) Good night (3400) Bad night (2090)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3902) Bad night (684)
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  (562): View more from California

  Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.

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  (562): Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty. http://tfl.nu/kgia
  Replies (34) Good night (11828) Bad night (1459)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.

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  (217): Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke. http://tfl.nu/86z1
  Replies (17) Good night (892) Bad night (4403)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?

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  (616): whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name? http://tfl.nu/f6w0
  Replies (13) Good night (5188) Bad night (941)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow

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  (402): I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow http://tfl.nu/h8bi
  Replies (10) Good night (1683) Bad night (4195)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I think this baby is eyeing my beer

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  (480): I think this baby is eyeing my beer http://tfl.nu/6ms6
  Replies (13) Good night (5047) Bad night (1219)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it

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  (519): he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it http://tfl.nu/rdxn
  Replies (19) Good night (5043) Bad night (1627)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.

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  (910): I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling. http://tfl.nu/sj19
  Replies (6) Good night (2722) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.

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  (406): We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class. http://tfl.nu/2kxo
  Replies (11) Good night (4523) Bad night (1152)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.

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  (832): He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits. http://tfl.nu/umk6
  Replies (9) Good night (733) Bad night (1114)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night

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  (909): I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night http://tfl.nu/8l7b
  Replies (1) Good night (239) Bad night (339)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....

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  (570): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are.... http://tfl.nu/bp2s
  Replies (5) Good night (494) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment

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  (702): you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment http://tfl.nu/hzml
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.

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  (314): Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer. http://tfl.nu/va6e
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (177)

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