Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
