Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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