yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
