Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize