He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
