i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
