Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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