from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
