do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
