p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
