Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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