I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
