Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
