I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
