Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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