I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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