that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
