The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
