Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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