my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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