i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
