My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
