I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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