so that wasnt chicken after all
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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