You made me cry and you don't even care
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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