Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
