This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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