Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
