Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
