Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize