maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
