Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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