I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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