She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
