Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
