You made me cry and you don't even care
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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