She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
