I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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