Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
