Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
